Entries from Jennifer Brown

Two years ago today I received news that would forever change my life. I was diagnosed with stage 3b rectal adenocarcinoma. I spent the majority of 2018 receiving treatment that began with five weeks of radiation and chemotherapy. Eight weeks later I had major surgery to remove the tumor. I had an open lower anterior resection that included removal of my rectum, part of my colon and nine surrounding lymph nodes. One of the lymph nodes removed was positive for cancer, which meant enduring an additional eight treatments of strong chemotherapy over 16 weeks. I had a CT scan in November 2018, only a few days after my last chemotherapy session and we were hopeful this was it. The chemotherapy treatments have left me with permanent side effects, like neuropathy in my hands and feet, but I was okay with that because we were going for a cure. I had hope again and being in my mid-fourties began to plan for the future again, even planning on returning to get a second college degree. May 2019, I had my six month post treatment CT scan and a follow up appointment with my oncologist the first week of June. This is when I got the worst news for a second time in my life….despite all the treatment and how well I healed, the cancer had spread to my right lung and possibly four lymph nodes. This was worse than finding out the first time. I held it together long enough for the oncologist and I to put together a new treatment plan, which was to start chemotherapy pills right away. I somehow managed to make it home and keep it together most of that day. When it did hit me, I melted into a puddle of sadness, despair and no hope for the future and stayed in that funk for days. I spent the next 12 weeks taking chemotherapy pills and had a PET scan at the end of August. Unfortunately, it confirmed the four lymph nodes in question were positive for cancer. The treatment was not working and it had also spread to my left lung. I now have multiple tumors approximately half a centimeter or chocolate chip size in both lungs, as well as a larger tumor in the right lung. In September I had a port placed in my chest again and started stronger chemotherapy treatment on October 9. I had a CT scan after three treatments and it showed two new tiny tumors, but the oncologist said that was neutral and they were taking that scan as my baseline for the new treatments. January 20, 2020, I had another CT scan. For the first time in months, the tumors have not grown and there are no new tumors. For now I am considered stable. Stable is the best that many of us with stage four cancer can hope for. With this little piece of good news I wanted to share some of my journey this far. I will be continuing with chemotherapy for the foreseeable future. Yes, it is difficult, yes, I have several unpredictable and bad days out of every 14 day cycle. I am frequently exhausted, have general malaise and not able to do half of what I used to. Sometimes I feel like giving up, but for now I’m still standing.